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A day in the life of Margot

I am rudely awoken by my mum at stupid o’clock (it’s around 7am) and I roll over on to my back and demand tummy rubs before I even consider climbing out of my nest, comprising of soft fleece and Sherpa blankets. Eventually I give up and I’m turfed out in the garden for a wee, that’s not so bad because I guilt trip mum in to coming out with me and I like to shout abuse at absolutely nothing, I enjoy watching mum get panicky about me waking people up and them being mad at us. We then get in to Mums bed and I bury myself so deep under the duvet, Mum worries about me suffocating and melts wafting the duvet to introduce oxygen to me, she’s so dramatic. She gets up and leaves me in peace, although as soon as I hear her go downstairs I sit pretty in the kitchen and see if I can blag some sweeties. She usually hands me some duck jerky, not before making me perform like a circus animal though. “Sit, down, over”. Honestly, who does she think I am? She buggers off upstairs to work and I decide ho

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